In a world that often glorifies instant success and overnight achievements, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. Social media feeds are filled with people flaunting their accomplishments, leaving many of us questioning our own worth. But what if the key to reaching your goals isn’t pretending you’re already there—but admitting you’re not?
A recent tweet by Etornam (@_iamEtornam) stopped me in my tracks:
“If you haven’t gotten what you want, then you’re not worthy of it. And that’s okay. Now you can admit that you suck and improve. Better to know you’re bad for a season than pretend you’re good for a lifetime. You’re not making as much money as you want because you’re not as good as you think you are. You’re not struggling from impostor syndrome. You’re a student and pretending to be a teacher.”
It was painful at first. Then I was released. The quickest route to true growth is to embrace this painful reality.
1. The Imposter Syndrome: A Call to Attention; We’ve all had the depressing realization that we’re not as capable as people believe. However, I’ve discovered this unsettling fact: Usually, I’ve felt like an imposter since I was one once. The literal “I haven’t put in the work yet” idea, not the psychological one.
There is a significant distinction between feeling unworthy because you haven’t yet acquired competence (a wake-up call) and feeling unworthy despite proof of skill (real impostor syndrome). Building confidence is needed for the first. The second calls for skill development. I’ve wasted months confusing the two.
2. Why Your Income Reflects Your Skill Level (And That’s Good News)
Early in my career, I remember staring at my bank account, frustrated that my income didn’t match my self-assessment. “I’m worth so much more than this,” I’d tell myself.
Then I had a humbling realization: The market doesn’t pay for potential. It pays for demonstrated value.
This was actually liberating because it meant:
1) My current earnings weren’t a judgment of my worth as a person
2) My future earnings were entirely within my control
When I stopped demanding to be paid like an expert and started becoming one, everything changed.
3. The Transformative Power of “I Don’t Know Yet”
There’s a special kind of confidence that comes from true competence. Not the bravado of pretending, but the quiet assurance of knowing.
I’ve learned that:
– Pretending to know = temporary ego boost, permanent skill stagnation
– Admitting ignorance = temporary discomfort, permanent growth
Some of my biggest leaps came when I finally said:
– “Actually, I need help with this”
– “Can you show me how you’d do it?”
– “I thought I knew this, but I need to revisit the basics”
4. The Alternative: Being Stuck in Permanent Mediocrity
Here’s the hard truth I had to face: Every day I spent pretending to be better than I was, was a day I wasn’t actually getting better.
I’ve watched peers (and my past self) make this mistake:
– Calling themselves “experts” after one project
– Charging premium rates for amateur work
– Deflecting feedback as “haters”
The result? They stayed exactly where they were, just with a more inflated self-image.
The Path Ahead: Develop Your Own Confidence It’s not about criticising oneself in the tweet. Cutting the bullshit so you can grow is the goal. This is what I find to be effective:
✅ The weekly skill assessments ask, “What am I good at? “Where am I still pretending?”
✅ Ask hard questions: “Where am I weakest?” rather than “How am I doing?”
✅ Embrace beginner status – Accepting that you are a beginner is the quickest approach to get out of that situation. The most successful people I know aren’t those who never had self-doubt; rather, they were the ones who fuelled their growth with that doubt.
When was the last time you admitted, “I’m not good enough at this” , share your views.